


The Sound of Silence and a Tongue Full of Words

by TheFaultInYoonMin



Category: EXO (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Amputation, Car Accidents, ChanSoo - Freeform, Chef Seokjin, Deaf Character, Deaf Jimin, Insecure Jimin, M/M, Mute Jimin, Photographer Yoongi, Protective Yoongi, Severe burning, Yoongi Is Bad at Feelings, namjin - Freeform, prosthetic leg, yoonmin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-06
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-08-19 19:43:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8222647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFaultInYoonMin/pseuds/TheFaultInYoonMin
Summary: Min Yoongi had been with the same group of kids since elementary school. He knew everyone, noticed everyone; at least he thought he did. At the beginning of his senior year in his history class, he notices a boy who was being particularly loud. This loudness, however, was not the normal kind. In fact, it was quite the opposite.





	1. The Realization

The clock ticked for what seemed like forever. The few seconds until the bell rang was torture, and even then, this bell signified the beginning of class. He still had hours before he could go home. He watched a few kids scurry into the classroom before they were considered late. One in particular, Kim Namjoon, sat in the desk one row over, smiling at him. 

"Hey Yoongi! How was your summer?" The bell rang before Yoongi could speak. Both of the boys turned to the front of the classroom, ready for the teacher to begin reading the class list. 

"Good morning class! I hope you all had a wonderful summer, but starting tomorrow we are jumping straight into our class for real. I assume you all are ready. Now, let me read the class list. Kim Jongin."

"Present."

"Kim Joonmyun."

"Present."

The teacher went through the list at a more efficient pace than other teachers did, but spoke clearly. She came upon Yoongi's name faster than expected.

"Min Yoongi?" There was no response. "Is Min Yoongi here today?"

"Uh yes, present. Excuse me," Yoongi called out. He had been writing down song lyrics for the millionth time, forgetting about the teacher and the kids around him.

"Please respond when called the first time, Mr. Min," the teacher reminded him.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Oh, where was I? Ah yes, Park Jimin?" Again, there was no response. This time, their teacher didn't scold him. Yoongi followed her gaze to the black haired boy sitting in the left front of the room. He looked at her and nodded, but their were no words exchanged. He found this to be quite weird, however he ignored it.  _'Maybe he's really shy. I guess some kids do talk to teachers about their crippling anxiety and refuse to talk in front of the class. It's a load of bullshit though._ ' 

Yoongi faintly paid attention to the teacher, who passed out worksheet after worksheet explaining the rules of the class and the coursework included. Every student heard this spiel six or more times on the first day of school, and anyone like him recycled it at soon as the class was over.

He once again daydreamed about being a rapper. The idea of fame was mesmerizing in more ways than one, but this wasn't the place to be. Yoongi had planned to go to a vocational school; his parents were not on the same page. They said the same thing over and over, trying to explain the importance of getting into a good university and holding a high paying government job. He didn't want to work for the government. He didn't have the desire to go to a university. He wanted to dye his hair and sing his heart out to his fans, whether it was a few hundred or a few million, he didn't care. 

Yoongi found himself absentmindedly staring at this Jimin boy. He had never seen him before, nor heard of his name. Some might call him pretty, some might call him cute, but to Yoongi, Jimin was beautiful. He couldn't explain why; he just  _was._ The only problem Yoongi had with Jimin was his size. Jimin had some pretty impressive muscles, especially in his arms, but he was skinny. Almost too skinny. Yoongi stared at him for the rest of the class until the bell rang. 

"Yoongi, what were you looking at?" Namjoon asked patiently.

"Oh, nothing in particular," Yoongi casually responded. "Why?"

"Well it looked like you were staring at Jimin." 

"If I was, it was an accident," Yoongi said, walking out of the classroom with Namjoon.

"Namjoonie!" A voice called out.

"Jinnie!" Namjoon embraced the owner of the voice, picking him up and spinning him. "I missed you so much!"

"Didn't you guys see each other, like, yesterday?" Yoongi raised both eyebrows in disgust. 

"No, we didn't. Jin was off on vacation in Malaysia with his family for a whole month, so this is the first time seeing him. I missed you so much hun," Namjoon sang lovingly. 

"Oh Namjoonie, I wish you could've gone with me! It was so beautiful, it reminded me of you." Jin batted his eyelashes, receiving a giggle from Namjoon.

"Gross," Yoongi muttered.

"Yoongi, just because you're not in a relationship doesn't mean you should bash others," Jin replied. 

"Whatever."

 

***

 

For the next few days, Yoongi watched Jimin with intense dedication. He wanted to know why this boy was so damn quiet, because no one else was. His quietness was louder than any of the kids in the classroom, which was the most surprising. The boy usually drew in a notebook, obviously not bothered by the amount of noise the class generated. He was curious to know about this mysterious boy. Yoongi decided to ask Hoseok at lunch, since he knew every kid that attended their high school. On his way to their normal table, he caught Hoseok's eye. Yoongi motioned for him to meet him in the corner by the vending machine. 

"Yoongi, could this not wait 'til we got to our table? What's wrong?" Hoseok looked concerned.

"Nothing is wrong. But I need to ask you about a certain someone. I've never seen him before, but I'm sure you know who he is. Do you know Park Jimin?" Yoongi played with the edge of his varsity basketball jacket, waiting for Hoseok's reply.

"Oh yeah! He's a great guy. We've been friends since the middle of elementary school! What about him?" 

"He's in my first period history class, and I just want to know why he's so quiet? Is he just really shy?" 

"Yoongi, he's part of the special education program."

"And? What does that have to do with it?" Yoongi pressed, obviously not catching on to Hoseok's drift.

"He's deaf." This realization hit Yoongi pretty hard. He didn't know why he was bothered by this information, but his stomach dropped. 

"Oh, I didn't know that." Yoongi stood there awkwardly. "He doesn't have hearing aids?"

Hoseok lowered his voice so that others wouldn't hear. "His family can't afford them. He went to speech therapy for years, where he got to use hearing aids to listen to the sounds his instructors made. Because he was born deaf, he has a really hard time creating the sounds we use to speak. By definition, he's deaf and mute. He's stopped going to his speech therapy classes because he's been told that he's 'impossible to teach' and 'a failure.' He only uses sign language to talk to the people he's been friends with, which fortunately, I'm one of them."

Yoongi waited a few moments before speaking. "Could you introduce me to him? I-I want to get to know him."

"You do?" Hoseok asked with wide eyes.

"Yeah, I do."

"Great, because I invited him to sit with us today."

"Wow, alright. I was not expecting that."

"Lately, he's been sitting by himself in the library. He usually studies or draws, but I wanted him to join us. He said he would." Hoseok started walking to their table, with Yoongi following him.

"Hoseok, would you be willing to teach me sign language?" Yoongi asked in a low tone as they approached the table. 

Hoseok nodded as he sat. A few moments later, Jimin walked up to their table, signing to Hoseok and smiling. "Guys, this is Jimin."

Yoongi was the first to hold out his hand. "I'm Yoongi," he said nervously. Jimin smiled, shaking Yoongi's hand firmly. When Jimin and Yoongi made eye contact, Hoseok swore he could see the flame of love igniting in both boy's eyes. 

 


	2. Sign Language, Relationships, and Projects

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi gets together with Hoseok to learn sign language, Hoseok talks about his new relationship, and Yoongi partners up with Jimin for a project.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *** - a skip in time
> 
> Because I am American, I'm going to use the American school system as a reference for this story. This includes grades (which I know don't matter in Korea according to the research I've done, but for the sake of the plot, they're going to matter), the time frame in which school goes on (from early September until mid June), and the way school is spread out (semesters, holidays, etc etc). This is purely to make the writing easier for me. I apologize if this is bothersome~

"Ok, first we'll go through the alphabet. It's quite a bit to handle at first, so we'll go through it slowly. If you need to see a letter again, let me know and I'll stop. Ready?" Hoseok asked. Yoongi nodded, following Hoseok's hand motions and saying the letters with him. The two boys were sitting in Hoseok's room after school, studying, completing homework assignments, and doing sign language in-between their lessons.

"Ah, that's hard! How do people get so good at using sign language? I guess deaf people just confuse me in general," Yoongi sighed. Hoseok laughed at his comment, almost falling off his chair.

"Yoongi, it takes a lot of time and practice. It took me seven months to finally get the hang of sign language. Do you know how hard it was to talk to Jimin for those seven months?" Hoseok continued to laugh, making Yoongi chuckle.

"Seven months is a long, long time. So Jimin's been doing sign language since elementary school?" Yoongi asked while going through the hand motions silently.

"He's been doing it for as long as I've known him. When I first met him, he was already really good at it. I remember I went to his house once or twice in middle school. In their living room, there was a plaque with his name on it. At the end of elementary school, his parents had him take an IQ test. He earned a score of one hundred and sixty-two. He was a genius at the end of elementary school, imagine what his IQ must be now! I've heard that some deaf people are very smart, and some can even learn how to talk properly while still being deaf. Though, according to Jimin, he won't be able to do so. I always feel bad for him, because he tries really hard," Hoseok said quietly.

"What about his parents? What do they think?"

"They're very supportive. Although they are disappointed because he refuses to go to his speech classes. He has never told them why he won't go, either."

Yoongi stopped his hand motions and glanced at Hoseok with a surprised expression. "Why not? Won't that get them off his back?"

"He's afraid they'll be angry at his teachers. He's almost one hundred percent sure that his mom and dad will try to sue the company. He hates conflict, so he tries to avoid it as much as possible. His way of avoiding more conflict is by upsetting his parents. It's just the way he thinks, I try not to question it." Hoseok looked at his math homework, taking a deep breath.

"What language do you think deaf people think in? I mean, if they were born deaf and they've never heard a sentence in their life, how do they think?" Yoongi asked aloud.

"Yoongi, is this what you think about on a daily basis?" Hoseok laughed.

"Haha, no. At least, not before. Now that I've met a deaf person, yes, I think about it quite often," Yoongi grinned.

There was a pause of silence. Hoseok tried to focus on his homework, while Yoongi practiced the motions that Hoseok had just taught him. He struggled on almost every letter, trying to remember what fingers to use.

"Yoongi?" Hoseok asked quietly.

"Yes?"

"Why did you want me to introduce you to Jimin? That is so not like you. You hate meeting people."

Yoongi opened his mouth, but closed it quickly.  _'Why did I want to meet Jimin? Hoseok's right, that isn't like me at all.'_  "It's just, we know every kid in our high school, first and last name, by heart. We've gone to school with them since the very beginning. I guess it bothered me that I had never noticed Jimin before. I wish I would have noticed him sooner, because he's nice to look at. He's got beautiful eyes, nice black hair, a sharp jawline, chiseled biceps. And his neck, how I'd love to cover it with kisses and love bites-" Yoongi found himself rambling. He immediately covered his mouth with his hand, a radiant shade of pink plastering his cheeks. Hoseok's mouth dropped and he closed his math book with such force that it surprised his dog. 

"Yoongi! You like Jimin, don't you!" Hoseok exclaimed.

"What, no, I don't." The pinkness of Yoongi's face deceived him, and he silently cursed Hoseok's ability to easily embarrass him.

"You do! When did this happen?" Hoseok cupped his own face with his hands, obviously excited by this abrupt confession.

"Hoseok, I just met him. I shook his hand, told him my name, and I didn't talk to him much after that. All I can do is admire his looks until I get sign language down. Otherwise, I have no way of communicating with him. It'd be pointless." Yoongi sat back in his chair, brushing his blond hair out of his eyes. He refused to look Hoseok in the eyes, afraid that he would be embarrassed again.

"You're in love with him, Yoongi. Don't deny it. Even if it's just for his looks at this point in time, you're in love."

"Alright, I'll admit it. I'm in love with the idea of being with him," Yoongi said as he rolled his eyes. "But this doesn't mean I'm in love with his personality. I don't know what he's like. I can't throw myself into the deep end until I've wallowed in the shallow end."

Hoseok shrugged. "I threw myself into the deep end."

"What? With who? Since when?"

"His name is Jong-in. Kim Jong-in. He goes by the nickname Kai," Hoseok casually mentioned.

"Funny story, he's in my history class. I know of him and we've talked a few times, but we never ran in the same circles. I guess that's about to change now."

"Really, he's in your class? You should get to know him, he's really cool," Hoseok pushed.

"I'll try. He's usually with Suho, so I'll see if I can wriggle my way into their conversations."

"Suho is nice too. We've been friends for a few years now."

Silence overcame the both of them. Yoongi looked absentmindedly at the wall, while Hoseok stared at his dog.

"So how did you meet Kai?" Yoongi asked, breaking the silence once again.

"We met in our dance class outside of school. We connected very easily, so we're going on a date this Saturday."

"When you said you threw yourself into the deep end, I thought you were kidding. Oh, how I was wrong," Yoongi chuckled.

Hoseok smiled. "I know, it's a bit crazy, but I have a good feeling about this guy. He isn't like other girls or boys I've been with. He's genuinely interested in me."

"Well I'm happy for you. If you really like Kai, then I'll support you." Yoongi smiled at Hoseok, who smiled back.

"Now, how 'bout we work on your sign language? The sooner you get this down, the faster you can suck on his neck," Hoseok winked. He started the alphabet over again, with Yoongi following him as best he could.

 

***

 

"Alright class, I know it's only the second Monday of the school year, but we're going to be starting a project. This project is different from other projects you've done in the past. It will not be due until the end of the semester," Ms. Sun-Hi said. The face of every student lit up until she dropped the rest of the news. "However, this will be worth  _half_ of your grade for this semester. If you fail this assignment, you will fail this class. You will work in pairs. Choose your partner wisely, because once you've chosen, you cannot, I repeat,  _cannot_ break away from them. Think of this as a marriage. Once you're married, you cannot divorce under any circumstance. You can give me all the sob stories you want, but I won't stray from my word. Choose your partners while I pass out the requirements. When you've chosen a partner, sit next to them. Ready, go!" Ms. Sun-Hi snapped her fingers and every student stood up at once. 

Yoongi could hear a few kids complaining throughout the classroom. 

"Ew, one of us has to work with Jimin."

"I don't want to work with Jimin."

"He's in the special education program, so he must be retarded. I definitely don't want to work with him."

"Yoongi, do you want to work with me?" Namjoon smiled widely. Yoongi could see Jimin signing to Ms. Sun-Hi at the front of the room. He watched as his face fell, and he knew she was telling him they had to work in pairs. Namjoon sighed loudly. "Go up there." Yoongi looked at Namjoon with wide eyes. 

"Are you sure?" Yoongi asked quietly. Namjoon nodded, and Yoongi didn't hesitate. He pushed past the groups of people and found himself standing in front of Ms. Sun-Hi's desk.

"Ms. Sun-Hi, I'll work with Jimin. I know it'll be difficult, but I'll make it work." Yoongi smiled at Jimin, who started at him with a blank face. A few seconds later a grin appeared.

"Yoongi, you're one of the least qualified to work with him. You don't work as hard as the other students, and I don't want to see Jimin fail because you decided not to work." Ms. Sun-Hi glared at him.

"Please, I'm the only kid who's willing to work with him. You haven't heard the other kids, but nobody wants to work with him. If anything, I am the most qualified. Give me a chance, let my redeem my reputation. I will not let Jimin fail." Yoongi clasped his hands together. "Please, let me try."

Ms. Sun-Hi sighed, signing to Jimin. He nodded his head, while Yoongi watched nervously. "Alright, he says he'll work with you. Yoongi, I swear, if you mess this up I will make sure you don't make it into any university. Got it?" Yoongi gulped, but somehow managed to nod his head.

"Y-yes, Ma'am."

"Good. Now go, get to work."

Yoongi followed Jimin back to his desk and sat down next to him. Jimin gave Yoongi a warm smile, which made him melt on the inside. Yoongi smiled genuinely, something he didn't do often. Upon realizing that he was actually working with Jimin, he acknowledged that he would have to work much, much harder on his sign language to make this work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are a few key phrases said by Yoongi in this chapter. Find them and keep them in mind, because they will help you later ;)
> 
> Yes, I know this chapter is quite short, but that's how these first few will be. I'm setting the stage for the climax of the story. Bear with me please. Thank you~


	3. Some Much Needed Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, Chen, and Xiumin give Yoongi a bit of advice about being friends with Jimin. Yoongi and Jimin chat about History project ideas. Yoongi comes up with a theme for his photography class.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Jimin is "speaking" (signing, that is), it will be italicized, bolded, and put into quotation marks. When he's typing, it will only be italicized, with no quotation marks or bolding. It's just to differentiate between normal speech, sign language, and typing. 
> 
> At some point Yoongi says "he's fluent in Korean" when talking about Lay. They're technically speaking in Korean. Obviously this story is in English, so I know it doesn't make much sense. Just please bear with me during this chapter, it bothers me too~

"Chanyeol, you're quite smart, aren't you?" Yoongi asked, opening his locker.

"I would like to think so. It depends, what do you need help with?" Chanyeol leaned against the locker next to him, watching the crowd of people leave for the day.

"I need some advice. It's about Jimin."

"Ah yes, this crush you've developed." Chanyeol smirked, chuckling to himself.

"Hoseok told all of you, didn't he?" Yoongi threw his books into his locker out of frustration. "I swear, I'm going to kill him eventually."

"Namjoon, Jin, Jungkook, Taehyung, Sehun, Suho, Chen, Xiumin, Lay, Baekhyun, Kyungsoo, and even Kai. Everybody except for Jimin, of course. But, it doesn't take much to see that you really like him. You look at him like he's the only thing that matters. You're under some sort of spell and it's working really well." Chanyeol turned his head to look at Yoongi.

"Why do people keep saying that?" Yoongi slammed his locker shut, re-locking it and setting his head against the cold beige metal. 

"You are. First, whenever we're in the hallway and Jimin walks by, he waves specifically at you, to which you shyly smile and give a small wave back. You hate waving, you never smile "shyly", and more importantly I have never seen you genuinely smile to someone you've just met. Second, when you make eye contact your eyes light up with anticipation. Your eyes don't light up like that unless you're working on a song and you think of the 'perfect lyrics' or the 'perfect tune'. It doesn't happen often. And third, when somebody even mentions his name, the color in your face goes from white to pink in less than a second. You never get embarrassed about anything." Chanyeol crossed his arms, facing Yoongi and staring at him. 

"Those are small things, they don't mean anything," Yoongi tried to reassure him. 

"Wrong. The small things mean the most. You're not acting normal, and we can all see that."

"Okay, so I'm not acting myself. What do I do though? I can't control how I feel about him, because if I could I wouldn't be in this situation." He peeled himself away from the locker, heading towards the main stairs. Chanyeol sighed, following him reluctantly.

"Hey, I'm going over to Kyungsoo's house to study." Chanyeol paused, using his fingers to put quotation marks around study. "He gives some of the best advice. Why don't you come with me and we'll see what he says. What did you need advice on again?"

"I should really just go home," Yoongi confessed. "I'm tired, and I need to start researching some topics for our history project. Oh, and I need to come up with a theme for my photography class."

"Yoongi, let us help you. Tell me, what did you need advice about?"

Yoongi sighed loudly. "I need help figuring out how to get closer to Jimin. It needs to be more than 'just spend time with him.' I need a real answer."

"Seriously, Xiumin and Kyungsoo could give you good advice. Just come over for an hour and listen to what we have to say. Then, you can do homework to your heart's content."

"Fine, let's go," Yoongi grumbled.

***

 

"Babe, you finally made it," Kyungsoo said, giving Chanyeol a small kiss.

"Hey Doll Face. 'Sup Chen, Xiumin," he waved. Kyungsoo pulled Chanyeol into the kitchen and left Yoongi with Chen and Xiumin. Yoongi looked to his left where Chen was sprawled on the couch, with Xiumin laying lazily on top of him. Lazily didn't even begin to describe the position Xiumin was in. He was laying on top of Chen, but his feet were over the back of the couch and his head was hanging off the edge close to the floor. Really, only Xiumin's butt was touching Chen, who didn't seem to mind this strange position. Yoongi laughed, sitting in the chair across from them.

"Having fun there, Xiumin? Seems like you're quite comfortable," he snorted.

"Oh yeah, it's a lot of fun. Chen Chen doesn't mind, so why not stay like this?" Xiumin pointed out, grinning wildly.

"I didn't say I enjoyed this Baozi. I'm letting you stay there because you're my boyfriend, and I'm supposed to let you do outrageous things," Chen reminded him.

"Baozi?" Yoongi asked.

Chen nodded. "It's Little Bun in Chinese."

"Do you guys know Chinese?" Yoongi cocked his head to the side.

"Yeah, we're fluent. You didn't know this?" Xiumin giggled.

"No, I was not aware of this. You never talk about it."

"How do you think we became friends with Lay? He's fluent as well, but he's from China so it doesn't really count," Chen added.

"Well I know Lay is from China, but he also speaks fluent Korean. He doesn't speak Chinese around any of us."

"Why would he speak Chinese when nobody else in our group speaks it?" Xiumin snickered.

"Whenever it's the three of us, we speak in Chinese. It's just a little thing between us. Plus, it gives us a chance to learn from a Chinese-born person and perfect our speech," Chen informed him.

"What about him doing that for Korean?"

"He hangs out with fourteen idiots who are all Korean, we don't need to worry about that." Chen and Xiumin burst out into a fit of laughter, which Yoongi joined in moments later.

"What are you guys laughing about?" Chanyeol and Kyungsoo emerged from the kitchen, their hands intertwined. Kyungsoo's hair was messed up more than usual, and Chanyeol's shirt was unbuttoned more than Yoongi remembered it. It was easy to tell that Kyungsoo and Chanyeol engaged in a make out session, but the three others decided not to bring it up. 

"We were talking about their fluency in Chinese," Yoongi said. 

"I always forget about that. It's pretty impressive," Kyungsoo remarked as he was pulled into Chanyeol's lap. 

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo's relationship was weird to Yoongi. Chanyeol was loud and like to talk, whereas Kyungsoo was quiet and kept his words to himself. Chanyeol acted like a child, always teasing Kyungsoo and messing with him. Kyungsoo acted like the adult, making sure Chanyeol didn't get into trouble. They were always touching, whether it was holding hands, having an arm wrapped around the others waist, or holding on to the others arm. In Yoongi's eyes, they were complete opposites, but it worked. If being together for three years was any indication, Yoongi found it appropriate to say they're in love. 

Chen and Xiumin were different compared to Kyungsoo and Chanyeol. They were both quiet and reserved, and kept their relationship to themselves. They were, however, inseparable. At first glance, people would think of them as best friends or even brothers, the way they never left each others side. They didn't touch in public or do anything for anyone to suspect they were dating. But behind the scenes, they were the most loving couple that Yoongi had ever seen. They loved each other unconditionally and it showed. Their relationship was natural; they didn't have to fill the silence with unneeded words. All they needed was each other and it was enough. Yoongi admired every relationship within their circle of friends; Sehun and Jungkook, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, Namjoon and Jin, but he admired Chen and Xiumin's relationship the most. It was special and personal, the way Yoongi thought relationships should be.

Yoongi was zapped out of his thoughts when Chanyeol spoke up. "Alright guys, Yoongi needs some advice. That's the main reason why I brought him with me."

"Advice? Yoongi, you never need advice. What is this about?" Chen asked.

Yoongi took a deep breath before starting. "I know I don't ask for advice often, but I've also never been in a situation like this. Listen, you all know that I have a crush on Jimin, thanks to Hoseok's chatty mouth. I want to get closer to him. I don't know how to do that, and it's not because of the communication barrier. I want to get to know him on a personal level, that isn't just by talking. Does that make sense?" Yoongi played with his fingers anxiously. "I just need advice on how to get closer to him without scaring him off."

Kyungsoo was the first to speak up. "Do activities with him. Take him to a museum, to the park, lie outside one night and admire the stars. Make it like a date, but don't label it as a date. Go dancing, watch a movie, do homework together. Be with him as much as possible. Eventually everything will click and fall into place."

"You make it sound so easy," Yoongi groaned. 

"What, are you scared? Yoongi, you're the bravest out of all of us. You never falter when it comes to approaching people, so what is it about Jimin that makes you waver like this?" Chen quietly asked. 

"I don't know. I honestly don't." Yoongi stared at the ceiling, but Xiumin and Kyungsoo made eye contact and nodded.

"Yoongi, what's your dream husband like?" Xiumin blurted out.

"What?"

"What's your dream husband like? I'm just curious, talk about him. What does he look like, how does he act, et cetera." 

"Oh, alright. In terms of looks, he's got black hair, chocolate-colored eyes, a sharp jawline, prominent cheekbones, and a stunning body. He wears quite a few rings and has ear piercings. When he smiles, it's enough to make anyone melt. When he's serious, he's incredibly sexy. And when he stares off into space, enveloped in his own thoughts, he's flawless and shines like an angel. He's shy, but he's one of the nicest people you'll ever meet. He's funny, affectionate, determined, emotional, faithful, hard-working, honest, loyal, romantic, gentle and thoughtful," Yoongi babbled. A pink rose color spread across his face, though he was oblivious. He rested his head on his hand, gazing dreamily into space. 

"What's Jimin like? Can you explain him?" Kyungsoo leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

Yoongi was still off in dream land, but he answered softly. "He's got black hair, chocolate-colored eyes, a sharp jawline, prominent cheekbones, and a stunning body. He wears quite a few rings and has ear piercings. When he smiles, it's enough to make me melt. When he's serious, he's incredibly sexy. And when he stares off into space, enveloped in his own thoughts, he's flawless and shines like an angel. He's shy and-" Yoongi's eyes widened, his own words smacking him back into reality. The pink rose color changed into a tomato red color, and he covered his face with his hands. Kyungsoo, Chen, Xiumin, and Chanyeol smiled broadly. 

"So, what is it about him that makes you unsure of your ability to become friends?" Chanyeol asked again.

"He's everything I've ever dreamed about. He is my dream guy," Yoongi replied, with a hint of frustration in his voice. He sounded like a child, and this bothered him. He was brave, strong, quick-witted, not easily seduced by those who liked him, and yet he had met a man that made his bones tremble and his heart palpitate. And to top it all, Jimin was unaware that he was capable of such seduction. 

"Does that bother you?" Xiumin asked.

"I've been dreaming about a guy like him for years now. He's literally everything I've ever wanted." Yoongi bit his bottom lip, staring off into space again. "What if I mess up?"

"Yoongi's afraid of messing up? That's a first!" Chen joked.

"I'm being serious!" Yoongi shot a glare at Chen, who snickered. "This is really bothering me. I have never felt this way about anyone. It's a first for me. What do I do?"

"Do what Kyungsoo said," Chanyeol spoke. "Don't restrict your options to things only school related. Invite him to hang out every once in a while just to have fun. You're a photographer, go do photo shoots with him or something like that." Yoongi's eyes widened again, but this time he had a less surprised expression.

"Ah, that's given me an idea! Guys, I gotta go! See you tomorrow!" Yoongi sprung up from the chair, grabbing his backpack off the floor. Without another word, he ran out the front door and back to his house. Chen, Xiumin, Chanyeol, and Kyungsoo could only shrug in confusion. 

 

***

 

Tuesday's classes were slow, but Yoongi didn't mind. Thanks to Chanyeol, he had finally come up with a theme for his photography class; all he had to do was talk to one person and he was set. At the end of the day, Yoongi walked home slower than usual. He was nervous to go home because he was meeting someone there. He opened the door to find his mom, dad, and multiple family members sitting in his living room and in the kitchen. This included aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents and people he had never met before.

"Uh, hi? Yoongi reluctantly closed the door behind him. "What's this about?"

"We're throwing a birthday party for your older brother and decided to invite the rest of the family!" His mother exclaimed. Yoongi sighed loudly, pulling his mother to the side. 

"Mother, did you forget that I have a friend coming over to work on a project for school?" Yoongi crossed his arms, obviously upset by his mother's forgetfulness.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry! The whole family is here, I can't shoo them away now. Besides, your friend could sit and talk with us!"

"Do any of you know sign language?"

"Why would we need to?" His mother furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

"Because he's deaf, mother," Yoongi informed her. 

"Oh. Well in that case it shouldn't be a problem because he won't be able to hear anything." She laughed loudly, gathering attention from other family members.

"Mother, that is so inconsiderate of you," Yoongi scoffed. "Whatever, I'll figure it out. Just come get me when a black-haired teenage boy shows up to our door."

"Alright," she replied absentmindedly. She was already looking at her next target of conversation, better known as his aunt. His mother waved him off, and he groaned as he pushed his way past the large group of people to get to his room. He opened his bedroom door to find his cousin, Young-Jae, making out on his bedroom floor with what Yoongi presumed was his girlfriend. 

"Young-Jae, what the fuck dude! Get out of here!" Yoongi barked.

"Woah, Yoongi calm down. We're just kissing man," Young-Jae said as he pulled his girlfriend off of the ground. "Let me introduce you. This is-"

"I don't care who she is. You're in  _my bedroom_ , get the fuck out of here," Yoongi spat. Young-Jae shrugged as he drug his girlfriend out of the bedroom. Yoongi slammed his door, punching the wall next to him. Luckily, it didn't leave a hole, but Yoongi found his hand to be in quite a bit of pain. He was so frustrated that he ignored it. He sighed loudly, flopping down on his bed. "I can't stay here," Yoongi grumbled to himself. "I can't let Jimin be here either, that's just embarrassing as fuck." Knowing he'd have to get out of here, he grabbed a bag out of his closet. He stuffed his laptop, homework, and other random essentials such as pencils, pens, and his phone into the bag. He slung it over his shoulder, going through the list in his head to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything. "My camera!" Yoongi exclaimed. He rushed back to the side of his bed, grabbing his fairly expensive camera, its case, and its accessories. He walked to his window, opened it, and carefully removed the screen like he'd done a million times before. He climbed out, putting the screen back in place. He turned around to find Jimin standing in his driveway, watching him. Jimin started laughing, but Yoongi was confused. 

"Jimin? What are you doing here so early?" Yoongi asked. How he had forgotten that Jimin was deaf, he would never figure out. He had gotten good at interpreting sign language, but as soon as it came to him signing, he was still quite a bit behind. He was about to repeat what he said in sign language when Jimin put his hand up.

 ** _"I can read lips Yoongi, you don't need to use sign language. Anyways, I live about six houses up from you. I figured if I came early, we could get started. But I see you're going somewhere, so I can come back."_** Jimin shifted his weight from one foot to the other, fiddling with the hem of his white shirt. 

"No, no, now is perfect actually. We can't stay here like we originally planned, though. My mother decided to throw a party for my brother without telling me, and I swear every relative I know of is here. You don't want to go in there. I'm afraid you'll run into my cousin making out with his girlfriend like I did earlier."

Jimin giggled at this strange comment, and it reminded Yoongi of a small child. Yoongi noticed that when Jimin laughed, his eyes formed little crescent moons. It was really cute, and Yoongi couldn't help but smile at this small detail. 

**_"So, where are we going then? We could go to the library, the park, we could even go back to the school if we wanted."_ **

Yoongi tapped his chin in thought. "Let's go to the park. It'll be pretty quiet there, since it is a school day." Jimin nodded and walked closer to him, grabbing his wrist and pulling him towards the park. 

 _ **"Let's go silly, we don't have all day."**_ The sensation of Jimin's touch spread throughout his whole body, causing his heart to beat loud and fast. Yoongi hoped that Jimin wouldn't be able to hear it or feel his heartbeat through his wrist.

 

***

 

By the time they got to the park, it was already five o'clock. They had about three hours of daylight left, but for Yoongi it still wasn't enough. 

 ** _"So, I've come up with a few ideas for our project. We could do our presentation on the changing of social customs throughout our history, or the most influential generals in the military. Those are the best I could come up with."_** Jimin shrugged, peering at Yoongi.  ** _"What do you think?"_**

"Hmm. We should do the one about social customs. We could film skits and put it together into a little movie. Taehyung and Jin are good at making movies, so we could get some help from them to put it together. How much fun would that be to do skits? We could go buy clothing that would best represent our culture back then and demonstrate the most common social customs. After we've finished with the old customs, we could move on to the modern ones." Jimin nodded, smiling.

**_"It sounds like a plan then! When should we start?"_ **

"Well we'd need to plan our skits first. So we could get together one weekend and do a script-writing session. One of us could go over to the other's house Friday night, spend the night there, and we could work on them Saturday. Or we could figure something else out, if you're uncomfortable with that idea." Yoongi hugged his knees to his chest, fearful that Jimin would find his idea weird or creepy.

 _ **"Yeah, that sounds like a great idea! We could get to know each other better too, since we'll be partners for this semester. I want to know more about you, so I think this'll give us a chance to become good friends and work really hard on our project to make it the best it can be."**_ Jimin smiled shyly, licking his lips absentmindedly. Yoongi found this extremely hot, but he resisted the urge to stare at Jimin's lips.

"Cool. I think our project will turn out great," Yoongi added. He grabbed his phone, checking the time again. His thumb hovered over the "Contacts" button, but he never clicked on it. In an instant, his phone was swiped from his hands by Jimin. After a few seconds, Jimin handed it back, acting like nothing had ever happened. "What was that for?"

 _ **"I put my number into your phone. It was easy to see you wanted it, but you were very reluctant in asking for it."**_ Jimin winked, leaving Yoongi dumbfounded. Jimin confused Yoongi, but he somehow liked the feeling.  ** _"Why did you bring a camera?"_**

Yoongi stared at the grass for a few moments, hesitant to answer. "Jimin, would you like to be a model for my photography class this year?"

**_"A model? Like, an actual model who poses for pictures?"_ **

"Yes, an actual model. To sum it up, our teacher gives us a list of requirements for each assignment. There are twenty assignments, each with its own boundaries and whatnot. There are a few bonus assignments as well that are extra credit if I do them. Anyways, I had to come up with a theme that will stick with me through all twenty original assignments. My theme is about life as a human; starting out as a child, going through the struggles of being a teenager, and then moving on to the hardships of being an adult. Within each individual sub-unit is a list. For childhood, it would be a list of learning; learning how to read, write, how to interact with other kids, and how to adapt to school life. For a teenager, it's the battle of emotions. We would deal with happiness, sadness, depression, anger, love, and any other emotion associated with that stage in our life. And then, moving on to being an adult, we would focus on becoming more professional, more business-like and we would even include family related motives, such as marriage." Yoongi took a deep breath, carefully choosing his next words. "Jimin, I want you to be the center of my project. You would be the main character of this movement through life. It would take a lot of time and effort, but I can promise it will turn out great." Yoongi bit his lip anxiously.

Jimin looked a the ground with an unhappy expression.  _ **"I'm flattered, really I am. But, I don't think I'd be good enough. You have friends who are more handsome, more talented than I am. I'm not beautiful enough to have the title of 'model.'"**_  

"Jimin, as much as I love my friends, I don't want them to work on this with me. I want  _you_ to be the model for my projects. You can represent the categories the best. And you're the most handsome, I can guarantee that."

 ** _"Are you sure?"_** Jimin gazed into Yoongi's eyes, and Yoongi could see they were filled with hurt.

"I'm positive. I want  _you_ and nobody else." Yoongi realized that his sentence could be interpreted in more ways than one, for which he mentally slapped himself.

Jimin sighed.  ** _"Alright, I'll do it."_**

Yoongi smiled broadly, tackling Jimin to the ground. "Thank you! I promise, it'll turn out great!" Jimin let out a loud laugh, snaking his arms around Yoongi's waist to hug him. 

_'I'll show you that you're the most beautiful thing to me, Park Jimin.'_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Comfort...More Like Stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yoongi's nervous about his feelings for Jimin, who notices that Yoongi is nervous. Jimin just makes it worse by comforting him - which isn't comforting because he's the source of the problem. Yoongi's stuck in a never ending cycle of being in constant pain and constant awe.

"Ah Yoongi, what are you doing this weekend?" Namjoon asked as the boys sat down to eat. The lunchroom was crowded as always, but somehow all sixteen boys managed to fit at the same table. Their circular table, located in the center of the lunchroom, was the biggest and the only table to fit all of the boys. Each boy sat in the same spot everyday, with Jimin being the new member. 

Yoongi looked to Jimin before answering. "I'm going over to Jimin's house."

"What are you going to do there?" Sehun raised his eyebrows, nudging Jungkook. Jungkook and Sehun giggled like little kids, to which Yoongi rolled his eyes.

"We're going to work on our history project. Don't be so immature. Besides, what we do there isn't any of your business anyway," Yoongi grunted. 

"Oh I see, so you're going over there to do  _stuff_. That sounds a bit suspicious Yoongi." Jungkook smiled and wiggled his eyebrows, a thing he had become famous for at the school. Everybody else laughed, even Jimin. Yoongi kept his straight face, glaring at Jungkook.  _'If only looks could kill,'_ Yoongi thought to himself. 

 _ **"It might be suspicious, but we want it to be that way. Makes for good gossip later, does it not?"**_ Jimin laughed. Hoseok punched his arm jokingly, laughing loudly. Yoongi looked down at his fidgeting fingers, smiling subtly. 

"Yoongi and Jimin would be a cute couple, right?" Sehun smirked, staring at Yoongi directly. 

 ** _"Ah, come on. It's not gonna happen. I don't like Yoongi in that way."_** Jimin gazed at Yoongi.  _ **"We're just friends."**_ Yoongi laughed, but it was a forced laugh. He felt as if he couldn't breathe. He felt like he had just been punched in the throat, like his lungs had been ripped out of his chest. Every one looked to Yoongi, all with slightly worried expressions.

"Yeah, yeah, he's right. Just friends, haha," he sputtered. The fact that he felt so destroyed made him feel weak. He had never been as sensitive about a response as he was about Jimin's. It was somewhat depressing to him to know that he could feel so much emotion about one guy, especially someone he's only known for a few days. His mind was filled with confusion, spinning in swirls that made him dizzy. "I-I have to go. I've got some photography stuff to work on. I'll see you guys later," Yoongi said as he grabbed his backpack. He stood up and pushed in his chair, avoiding eye contact with the guys at the table and anyone who passed by.

 

***

 

He was alone in the photography room, as usual. Nobody spent as much time in that room than Yoongi. Photography was his second passion, behind music. For Yoongi, photography and music fit his lifestyle perfectly. He could create anything he wanted in the style he wanted. For the most part, there were no guidelines, no rules. It was simple, the way Yoongi liked everything to be.

If only his feelings towards Jimin were as simple as his hobbies. Being friends was simple; you shared jokes, feelings (to a certain degree), and similar personalities. Loving someone is on a different level. Both participants have to put in equal amounts of love and affection, otherwise it's a failed relationship and, in Yoongi's opinion, ends terribly. The idea of loving Jimin is too complex for someone like Yoongi to handle. It's all too much, and he has no idea how to deal with it. 

He began to play music while making a list of ideas for his upcoming projects. He rapped along to Epik High's "Fly", falling into his own little world. Rapping always appealed to him in little ways. The burning of his throat when he spit fire, the rhythm of his heart beating along to the music, the shaking of his fingers as he finished coming down from his adrenaline high. Yoongi loved the feeling with every nerve in his body, and he vowed to himself over and over that he would never give it up. He loved his group of friends, for they were a mix of dancers, singers, and rappers. They were an idol group in the making, though it was unofficial. 

A tap on his shoulder made him jump. He looked over his shoulder cautiously, and a pair of chocolate brown orbs was the first thing he saw. Though he had never really thought about it, brown eyes were his favorite. Brown had been deemed the most boring eye color by the rest of the world, but to Yoongi it was fascinating, although he could never explain why. Jimin's lips curved upward into a small smile; a smile he reserved for only a few people, according to Hoseok.

 ** _"I wish I could hear your voice. I imagine it sounding like an angel. You know, the kind of soothing voice that makes you want to wrap someone in your arms and just lay together forever."_** His smile was genuine, but it didn't help Yoongi's sudden sadness.

"Nah. I think you'd be disappointed. My voice isn't any good," Yoongi replied. "I mean, when I rap it sounds alright, but my singing voice is shit."

_**"You don't know that. To you it may seem bad, but to someone else it might be the best voice they've ever heard."** _

"Ha, yeah right. Compare my voice to Jungkook's, or Chen, or Xiumin, Baekhyun, Taehyung, Kai, Kyungsoo," he mused. "Even Chanyeol has an amazing voice. He raps like I do, yet his voice is ten times better than mine."

**_"Come on, don't be like that. Don't compare yourself to other people. Have more faith in your abilities."_ **

"I gave up on faith a long time ago, I don't buy that shit." Yoongi turned back towards his computer, but Jimin grabbed Yoongi's left hand and turned it so his palm was facing up. He began to massage his hand, putting pressure in the middle of Yoongi's palm. Yoongi looked back at Jimin with wide eyes. "What are you doing?"

Jimin paused. _"My_ ** _mother used to do this whenever I was really stressed. S_** ** _he doesn't do it anymore, but I wish she did because it helps me a lot. Somehow, I always feel less stressed or worried afterwards. It's really calming. I just wanted to try it and see if it worked on you."_** He continued again, his thumbs working magic into Yoongi's hand. He could feel the pleasurable sensations travel up his arms and into his neck, something he'd never felt before. Jimin was right. Within a few seconds he felt calmer, and his thoughts became clearer. Jimin watched him intensely, his brown eyes burning holes into Yoongi's head. 

"Wow," he murmured softly. "That is really calming. You said your mother used to do this?"

Jimin nodded, taking his right hand off of Yoongi's to sign back. His left hand continued to massage Yoongi's hand.  ** _"My mother started doing it when I was about four. I used to have terrible nightmares, and to calm me down she'd massage my hand. She would do it right before I went to bed so that it would help me sleep. She did it up until I turned ten. She stopped doing it because she had to work extra hours and was never around at the time I would go to bed. All of my nightmares returned, but I knew better than to put my personal problems before her work. I haven't brought it up since,"_** Jimin shrugged.

Absentmindedly, his left hand stopped moving, so he was holding Yoongi's hand without knowing it. Yoongi didn't say anything, scared that Jimin would pull his hand away. It was obvious that Jimin was lost in thought because he lowered his hand, resting it on his knee while still holding on to Yoongi's. Jimin began to move his fingers, rubbing small, slow circles into Yoongi's fingers, palm, and the top of his hand. Yoongi smiled at Jimin's small, petite hands, which Jimin noticed. Jimin blushed wildly at his movements, however he didn't remove his hand. He kept it there, repeating the same patterns into Yoongi's hand. 

"Do you like doing this?" Yoongi asked, smiling at Jimin's shyness.

_**"Why? Do you not like it?"** _

"I like it, but I want to know if you do."

 _ **"Oh. Yeah I like it. It's nice to sit here and not feel overwhelmed or stressed."**_ Jimin paused, taking a few moments to think about his words.  ** _"I like being here with you. Everything feels right."_** His eyes darted up to Yoongi's, a look of worry overcoming his brown orbs. Yoongi stared at him with a blank expression. He wasn't sure what to make of Jimin's words.  _ **"I, uh, that came out wrong. I just meant that you're a comforting person to be around. I don't feel stressed or worried. Does that make sense?"**_

Yoongi nodded, but he couldn't keep those words out of his head. There was one thing that didn't add up, though. Most people's mouths move faster than their brains, and it's very rare that someone can stop themselves from spilling information they didn't want to spill. But Jimin couldn't talk, at least not well. His brain moved considerably faster than his hands..so if that wasn't what he meant, then why did he sign it? He could have stopped himself, _but he didn't_. It was a possibility that because Jimin had been signing for so long, his hands were indeed faster than his brain, but Yoongi couldn't bring himself to believe it. There was a small possibility that Jimin liked him back. Yoongi smiled softly at the idea, which caused Jimin to raise his eyebrows.

 ** _"Are you alright?"_**  

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just remembered that we have to actually work on our history project. I don't want to. I just want to take pictures of you all day long."

_**"I still can't believe you picked me as your model."**_

"I still can't believe you accepted my proposal," Yoongi laughed. 

 ** _"I couldn't bring myself to turn you down. You seemed so excited that I couldn't say no."_**  

"Ah, so you don't actually want to do it, but you're just bad at saying no," Yoongi joked.

 ** _"That's not what I meant!"_** Jimin pouted, sticking out his bottom lip. To Yoongi, he resembled a small puppy, and he had to force himself to look away. Yoongi laughed, and Jimin laughed along with him. 

Jimin stayed with Yoongi for the rest of lunch, and even skipped his next class to watch Yoongi write lyrics and take pictures of items for other projects. He asked questions about photography, modeling, and song writing. Yoongi tried to answer to the best of his ability, but he was so bad with words that it made Jimin laugh. It felt like a dream to Yoongi. Sometimes he wondered if he was really awake, or if God was playing a cruel trick on him.

 

***

 

The walk to Jimin's house was pleasant. Jimin seemed to be calm, but Yoongi was dying inside. He wasn't sure why, but he had the feeling that it had to do with Jimin's parents. He was meeting them for the first time, but he had no reason to be scared. He's just Jimin's friend, right? It's not like he's Jimin's boyfriend and Jimin is bringing him home for the first time. While the idea of being Jimin's boyfriend was a fantastic idea, Yoongi was glad that he was meeting the parents as a friend first. 

Jimin didn't talk on the way home and Yoongi used this as an excuse to stare at him while Jimin was preoccupied with the nature surrounding them. Jimin really was beautiful. Yoongi took a strange liking to beautiful things; this made him wonder why, in all of his years of being in school, he had never noticed Jimin. Had their fate really been this unfortunate?

Yoongi stared at Jimin for a long time until he noticed a hint of red in Jimin's hair - but it was more than just a hint. As if someone threw a brick at Yoongi, it hit him - Jimin's hair was red.  _Bright red. As in it was the color of blood and nobody in their right mind would miss it._ Somehow, Yoongi had missed this color change and he mentally smacked himself upside the head for being such an oblivious idiot. He tapped Jimin on the shoulder, waiting for the younger to look at him.

"How long has your hair been red?" Yoongi asked curiously.

**_"Uh, since Tuesday night? It's been like this for a few days, are you really now just noticing it?"_ **

"Maybe." Yoongi turned his head away in shame as his ears and cheeks become adorned with a slight pink blush. The air stilled as Jimin's house loomed in the distance, Yoongi's house being a bit further away. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, walking shoulder to shoulder with Jimin. 

 

***

 

He was such an idiot. How could someone be so scared and worried about meeting Jimin's parents?

Jimin's mother was an angel on Earth. She spoke with such wisdom and kindness, and she had the type of voice that made Yoongi want to listen to her speak all day long. She fed them food, told stories about Jimin as a kid, and may have embarrassed him (as mothers do).

His father was the same. He complemented Jimin's mother well, and they told stories about how they met and the places they've been. He was funny, and told his stories so vividly that Yoongi thought he was actually part of it (another reason why Yoongi thought he was in a dream - why must God put such a curse on him?). 

It was easy to tell where Jimin had gotten his looks from. His mother was a short, stocky woman with straight black hair and eyes that turned into crescents when she smiled. She dressed modestly, and wore neutral colors such as brown, black, and darker shades of blue. His father was tall (obviously Jimin did not inherit this trait) and carried a stern expression that would scare any child. Despite his mean aura, he liked to wear bright colors and show off his weird "talents."

Friday night wasn't too bad, as Yoongi sat with Jimin's parents and got to know them more. Jimin sat quietly off to the side (but when isn't he quiet, that's the real question!) and observed the situation with loving eyes. Yoongi glanced at him every so often and gave him a small smile, just to show Jimin that he liked being in their presence. 

He truly, without a doubt, wholeheartedly decided that he was head over heels for Jimin. He also decided that he truly, without a doubt, wholeheartedly decided that he was screwed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE, I AM A TERRIBLE AUTHOR.
> 
> You have permission to yell at me all you want.
> 
> Seriously, go for it. 
> 
> I'm sorry that this is such a short chapter; you guys have waited patiently (I hope) and I have presented you with absolute crap-
> 
> Guys it's so hard to write the moments leading to the climax of the story, like I know exactly what I want to do when I get there - it's hard for me to write moments like this. I know it really isn't any excuse, but bear with me please ;;
> 
> For those of you who do read these short notes, if you have suggestions share them! I am open to any idea that you present. Hopefully I can get some writing going soon to make this story flow much better.
> 
> I promise I won't leave you hanging for so long again! I am sincerely sorry, I know what a pain it is.


	5. Not All Best Friends Are Physical

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friend - a person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection
> 
> Best friend - a person who you value above other friends in your life, someone you have fun with, someone you trust and someone in whom you confide
> 
> For Jimin, silence had always been his best friend.
> 
> For Silence, Jimin was not meant to be shared.

When Jimin had been told at the age of five that he couldn't hear, he didn't understand why his mother sat off to the side with tears in her eyes, while his father stared into the vast nothingness with a distant gaze. He had always been what doctors called "deaf"; he'd been like this since he was born. This was nothing new for him. It had always been quiet; too quiet for the average mind to handle. 

His parents, even after having dealt with it for five years, still cried and became angry over it. They struggled to come to terms with it, but Jimin was just fine. He learned to communicate with his parents with hand gestures, why wasn't it enough for them? He was perfectly fine in every other aspect. His sense of sight, touch, taste, and smell were all heightened to make up for it - at least, that's what he read in a book about deafness- so he didn't mind it at all. 

The hardest part was not being able to talk. Without hearing himself, he couldn't form understandable sounds. He was about ten years old when his parents began to teach him how to speak. They sent him to speech therapy, where he was able to try out hearing aids. He was only able to use them a few times, but he practiced the sounds he had been taught for as long as he could. His parents had looks of disappointment every time he tried, and it caused huge pangs of sadness to wash over him. Jimin only wanted to make them happy. To accomplish this, he stopped trying. He refused to go to his speech therapy for two reasons - it made his parents incredibly sad to watch their child struggle, and his teachers were incredibly rude. His teachers would get frustrated if he couldn't do a sound after a few tries, and they gave up on him easily. He never told his parents about his teachers. He simply stated that he had other things to focus on. It was extremely depressing to know that nobody believed in him.

When Jimin entered school as a six year old, he was placed in the special needs section of his school. His parents told him that he would be able to make friends. He didn't know what a friend was though, as he had never had one before. His parents explained that a friend is a person who you like and enjoy being with. They also told him that some of those friends could even become best friends. Jimin was so excited to make friends and bond over something small, like toys or a TV show. However, the other kids didn't play with him. They would talk to him, but he couldn't talk back. This frustrated the children, and they avoided him like the plague. He learned to play by himself in the corner with Lego sets or even dolls - anything that could make him forget that he wasn't wanted. 

Oh, how Jimin wished to be able to talk, to hear, to feel like a normal child! He wanted to hear himself laugh and cry. He wanted to smile and tell people with _words_ why he was so visibly happy. He wanted so many things. The one thing blocking him from his goals was his lack of hearing aids. He had decided that hearing aids could fix all of his problems. He'd be able to hear, and if he practiced every day for long periods of time, speaking could become a reality too. His family's money situation prevented this solution. His parents would never be able to pay for something so expensive and have extra money to do the follow ups to make sure everything worked the way it should. Although his parents worked hard, sometimes he thought they didn't work hard enough. This thinking always brought him guilt, and he would ask for forgiveness - from whom, he didn't know.  

When Jimin entered middle school, he was almost thirteen years old. His IQ was very high, as his parents had him tested. He was much smarter than his peers, but being in the special needs program, there was no where for him to go. He couldn't skip a grade because all of the special needs classes were grouped into one. The education system didn't care that he was smarter than normal. All they cared about was the fact that he had a condition that kept him from interacting like a "normal" child. He didn't make any friends within the special needs program, because they were usually pretty dumb - Jimin hated admitting it, but they were too socially inept to learn any form of sign language. It was his only way of communication, so it limited his interactions with anyone.

Luckily, Jimin was interested in dance. While he could not hear the music, he could feel it through the vibrations of the floor. He loved watching professional dancers fly across the stage with elegance and dance with partners with passion. One day, he was caught watching the middle school's dance program practicing. He had been watching from the inside of the door, hiding and peaking around the corner to get a glimpse of an art he had come to love. The student leader of the dance program was Hoseok, an enigmatic character. He was hardworking and serious when it came to dancing, but when he was with friends he goofed off and got into trouble for being too loud or laughing too much. He was a good kid, and the right person for leading aspiring dancers. For being thirteen, he was a talented child and was easily the teacher's favorite. 

Hoseok had been practicing alone when he swiftly turned around as Jimin dove back around the corner. Hoseok wearily walked over to Jimin and gave him a big smile, welcoming him to the dance studio. Jimin thanked whomever was watching over him for having learned to read lips; otherwise, he'd be screwed. Jimin pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down that he was deaf, but was in love with dancing. He had been watching the program for a few months to acquaint himself with the basics, and was inspired by Hoseok's dancing. Hoseok gave him a big hug and, without any warning, told Jimin that he would be warmly welcomed if he joined the program. 

_"You know, we'd be happy if you joined the program."_

_"Me? I could never. Being deaf and all, it would hinder the performances and ruin the program's reputation. I'd never be good enough."_

_"I once read a quote from a Canadian model named Chantal Sutherland that sticks with me whenever I feel down. '_ _Believe in yourself, take on your challenges, dig deep within yourself to conquer fears. Never let anyone bring you down. You got to keep going.' I recite this every night before I go to bed, because I believe that I can do anything I put my mind to. Whenever I struggle with the choreography of a song and want to give up, I think about this quote. I think you would learn a lot from it. You will never get anywhere in life if you continue to fear the things you love doing. So c'mon! Join the program, and I'll show you that with passion and hard work, you can do anything you want to."  
_

This talk with Hoseok formed a bond that Jimin had never had. Nobody had ever been interested in his life before, nor stuck around to care. But Hoseok was unlike anyone he had ever met - he was kind, strong, caring, willing, and protective of everything he loved. In just seven months, Hoseok learned sign language to carry on a full conversation with Jimin, and the notion was endearing. Hoseok was the only physical friend he had in middle school. 

Though he was ecstatic that he made a friend, Jimin couldn't find it in him to be happy like Hoseok. He had never really known happiness. All he knew was quietness and hushed "voices." 

_"Nobody will ever love a deaf person."_

_"Even your parents wish they could rid themselves of you."_

_"You're worthless."_

_"Hoseok is your friend only because he pities you."_

Jimin encountered his first epiphany one night as he was lying in bed. He was almost fully asleep and could feel his mind hazing out, until he was suddenly jolted awake by a conversation he had years prior to meeting Hoseok. He remembered the talk his parents gave him about best friends. He had since learned that a best friend sticks with you through everything - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Best friends were some of the most important people a person could every have.

He had made a best friend a long, long time ago. 

His best friend went by the name of Silence. 

Though not a physical best friend, Silence had been there through every hardship, every achievement, every tear, and every failed attempt at speaking. When he was lonely, Silence was there to give him company. When he was happy, Silence was there to share the moment. When he was sad, Silence was there to comfort him. When he was angry, Silence was there to let him vent. He confided in Silence to keep his darkest secrets. He shared his fondest memories with Silence. Silence never gave up on him, unlike the people he met in his daily physical life. 

He could talk to Silence whenever he wanted. Silence was always there to listen to him and give him advice. Silence didn't judge him, condemn him, nor make fun of him. Silence patted him on the back when he accomplished something, and scolded him when he did something wrong. Silence was his best friend, his roommate, his parent friend. 

Jimin's parents once asked him if he had made any friends. Jimin replied that he had made two friends; one named Hoseok, and the other was to remain unnamed, as they would never get to meet this mysterious friend. Jimin never said anything else about it, thoroughly confusing his parents. Nobody but him would know of his best friend. 

Jimin didn't need another best friend because no one could relate to his situation like Silence did. Silence was his everything. While he appreciated the friendship he formed with Hoseok, he didn't know how to approach him with sensitive subjects that he kept hidden for so long. He intended to keep his friend list small, so that confusion wouldn't form.

And somehow, through Hoseok, he made fourteen other friends. Some of them he didn't know well enough and typically only waved to, like Kai and Lay, but with some of the others, like Yoongi and Namjoon, he made strong connections. He couldn't communicate very well with most of the guys at the table and had to rely on Namjoon, Hoseok, or sometimes even Yoongi to interpret for them. He was grateful for Yoongi and Namjoon, especially because of their IQ. Namjoon learned sign language with ease, and he could easily carry on a conversation that flowed smoothly. Namjoon was also an intellectual, meaning they could have deep conversations without Namjoon prying too much into Jimin's personal life. 

Yoongi was a different story. He could understand sign language, but couldn't reciprocate it. It was as if his hands couldn't memorize the movements. Jimin thought it to be funny, but he never said anything about it. Yoongi was a soft character, and had offered to be his history partner before they even knew about each other. He asked Jimin to be his model for his photography project, for God's sake! Jimin had a special place in his heart for Yoongi. He denied his friend's ideas that they would be a cute couple, but in all honesty his heart beat faster when they were together and it made him dizzy. Most would call it a crush; Jimin didn't know what to call it.

But even though he was grateful for these new friendships, and he really was; it wasn't the same. With Silence, he was at ease. With Silence, he could be himself every second of the day. With the guys, he was uncomfortable. With the guys, he felt as if he had to put up a front to shield himself from the possibility of getting hurt. Silence didn't like when Jimin was uncomfortable, nor when he couldn't be himself. Silence didn't like his new friends.

Silence especially hated Yoongi. Silence didn't like it when Jimin's heart beat too fast and made the blood pound in his ears. Silence didn't like it when Jimin smiled too much, because it proved that Jimin was finding new and better friends to replace the quiet. Silence didn't like being pushed aside to make room for these "friends" that Jimin had made. Silence didn't like sharing Jimin.

Silence was the only thing Jimin knew, and Silence intended to keep it that way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I ended up taking a different turn at the end of this chapter. I was writing along and then I wrote a sentence that led me to this. I kind of like where it's headed though. I had an idea the other day and this goes along perfectly with it. I hope you guys like it too. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope it's an alright chapter. After reading it multiple times, it seems really choppy to me (then again, I've read this over and over, so it becomes redundant after a while) but you can decide that for yourself. Constructive criticism helps! 
> 
> Also, next chapter I'll have a bit more info on the whole "Yoongi can't do sign language" thing. For those I have confused with that portion of the story, it'll be more explained in upcoming chapters.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoy this story, please leave kudos and share! It would be much appreciated! :)


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